


how to deny yourself of spiritual enlightenment

by inverse



Category: 2PM
Genre: Gen, Humor
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-01-15
Updated: 2011-01-15
Packaged: 2017-10-31 12:10:10
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,005
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/343891
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/inverse/pseuds/inverse
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>wooyoung is a connoisseur of good literature, yes he is.</p>
            </blockquote>





	how to deny yourself of spiritual enlightenment

the first time wooyoung almost does something as incredibly stupid as drinking his own toothpaste foam is when nichkhun walks into the bathroom one morning while wooyoung’s still brushing his teeth. he’s rinsing his mouth when nichkhun gives him a shove and inspects his face in the mirror, where stubble like an overgrown forest of a five o’clock shadow has currently taken over the lower half of his face. this is when wooyoung almost drinks his own toothpaste foam, but luckily he manages to spit it out all over the sink before he actually swallows it all.

“what the hell,” he tells nichkhun. “this is the worst i’ve ever seen you look.”

“it doesn’t make me look … i don’t know, wise or anything?” nichkhun asks him.

“no.” there’s nothing more that wooyoung really wants to add to his answer.

“ah, that’s a pity,” nichkhun sighs, fondling his newfound stubble rather tenderly. “and i took the last three days to let it grow out too.”

“right,” wooyoung replies, washing his toothbrush. “i think it’s doing a bang-up job of ruining your features, though.”

“i was actually wondering if growing a beard really makes you feel any wiser,” nichkhun tells him, reaching for the nearest disposable razor. “kind of like paulo coelho, you know?”

“who?”

 

 

paulo coelho is pretty deep.

to be completely honest, wooyoung has probably enjoyed several other books a whole lot more. many other books, in fact. it’s not that his writing is bad, it’s just that it’s really not the kind of thing wooyoung likes to read. the book wooyoung is currently reading is called _the alchemist_ , and it’s apparently one of his bestsellers. the plot goes something like this: boy is a shepherd, boy has prophetic dreams, boy goes on the journey of his lifetime to pursue his dreams and discover the true purpose of life, bonus points for it being set in mysterious egypt. wooyoung can kind of see why nichkhun likes his writing; it’s exactly the kind of reflective, philosophical prose jam-packed with life lessons and quotable quotes that nichkhun would devour in a second. there’s obviously some kind of moral hidden in there somewhere, but wooyoung feels like his scepticism is preventing him from making that one crucial step towards spiritual nirvana.

so yes, paulo coelho is pretty deep. or at least, wooyoung thinks he’s supposed to be.

he’s trying very hard to make it past the penultimate chapter of the book – because no book started on ever goes unfinished – when nichkhun passes by, glances at what he’s reading, does a major double-take, and promptly stalks up to wooyoung to confirm that his eyes aren’t deceiving him.

“the sun has risen from the west,” nichkhun comments, and wooyoung can’t help but feel slightly offended. was it that surprising to actually find him reading a book?

“sure it has,” he replies drily.

“i didn’t know you liked his work,” nichkhun claims, looking genuinely astonished.

“well, ‘like’ isn’t exactly the best way to put it –”

“i guess this is as good a time as any other to say this,” nichkhun interrupts him, his eyes gleaming.

“what,” wooyoung asks, steeling himself. he had no idea his reading paulo coelho would prompt such a reaction.

“how do i explain this,” nichkhun says, and begins to blush, “i haven’t told anyone else yet, but one of my fans happens to have connections with a publisher who has the rights to his work in east asia. she managed to have them get in touch with him and now … i guess i’m meeting him for lunch next week, since he’s apparently going to be in korea for a university conference. i can’t believe it, i’m so incredibly lucky.”

“you’re meeting this paulo coelho guy for lunch,” wooyoung repeats.

“yup,” nichkhun nods.

“next week.”

“yes,” nichkhun says, grinning from ear to ear.

“you’re joking, right?” wooyoung asks in disbelief.

 

 

wooyoung soon finds out that he’s the last one in the house to know about nichkhun’s strange fixation with paulo coelho. in fact, the more he finds out, the more it seems to him that this fixation borders on a somewhat creepy obsession.

“you,” taecyeon tells him with the air of a jedi master schooling a clueless padawan, “are obviously not on twitter often enough to notice khun retweeting stuff from him all the time. stuff about haters and admirers and life being a train station or something. i think khun thinks all of it is real deep and meaningful,” he finishes, the corners of his lips twitching.

“it was terrifying,” junsu recalls, his eyes going unfocused, “when he found that i had stuffed one of his novels into the back of my bookshelf. apparently he’d been looking for it for a really long time, and i had completely forgotten about it because i’d borrowed it a long time ago to practise my english. he was absolutely livid. it was like experiencing the wrath of god, wooyoung, you have to believe me.”

from time to time nichkhun gives out words of wisdom to junho and chansung in the hopes that they will too, one day, appreciate the marvellous surprises and rewards that life has in store for them. they now have periodic contests to see who can churn out the best quotes most worthy of nichkhun’s hypothetical adoration.

“let’s see,” junho ponders. “the beauty of comparing oranges and apples lies not in comparing their differences but their similarities?”

“wow, that’s impressive,” chansung says. “wait, wait, how about this – there is no shame in wanting to achieve your dreams, but take heed of where your desires may lead you.”

“fools merely learn, but the wise apply what they have learnt.”

“the happiest heart sings not of wanting but of giving.”

junho cracks up and slaps chansung a high-five.

 

 

it was obviously a mistake to have let nichkhun catch him reading paulo coelho. after that, it’s a whole week of nichkhun not being able to shut up about how wooyoung should read the rest of his extensive collection.

“you’re the best, wooyoungie,” nichkhun beams at him one day during breakfast. “no one else in this house appreciates good literature.”

“uh-huh,” wooyoung says, his mouth full of toast, wondering what kind of a cosmic event had happened such that he was now a connoisseur of good literature, at least according to nichkhun.

in the van on the way to a music bank recording: “here, this one is the one i’m currently reading – it’s called _by the river piedra i sat down and wept_ , but it’s actually not as morose as the title makes it sound, and the content is actually really hopeful. hey, you know what? if you want to read it you can borrow it first; i’m actually only a couple of pages in.”

backstage while preparing for their performance at a lotte duty free concert: “my favourite book from him is actually _like the flowing river_. it’s a collection of very meaningful short stories that are really inspirational. like, there’s this one about an old woman telling her grandson about – oh, your mic isn’t working? you should go and ask for a replacement then …”

in the toilet, right before wooyoung’s about to take a piss: “wooyoung, are you free tomorrow night? i was thinking we could go down to starbucks and spend a couple of hours reading –”

“khun-hyung,” wooyoung suggests, teeth clenched, “if you could just. wait a while.”

“oh, sure,” nichkhun says, and leaves the bathroom. when wooyoung is done he finds that nichkhun has been waiting patiently outside, even though wooyoung made sure he spent as much time as he could lathering his hands furiously with hand soap. twice. just because.

“oh my god, get me out of here,” wooyoung moans the next time he sees nichkhun enthusiastically heading his way, and brushes his way past junho to make a quick escape.

“tsk, tsk,” junho tuts. “wooyoung-ah, cowardice does not a man become.”

“did you just make that up on the spot,” wooyoung snaps, “because it’s one of the stupidest sayings i’ve ever heard, just so you know.”

 

 

the second time wooyoung almost does something as incredibly stupid as drinking his own toothpaste foam is when nichkhun walks into the bathroom one morning while wooyoung’s still brushing his teeth, only this time nichkhun is dressed as if he walked out of a copy of esquire magazine from the 1950’s, complete with waistcoat and pocket watch. the only thing missing, in wooyoung’s humble opinion, is a monocle.

“let me guess,” wooyoung asks, “you’re on the way for your lunch date with your favourite author.”

“it’s not a date,” nichkhun replies, having the grace to look embarrassed.

“i can’t believe you weren’t joking about it.”

nichkhun frowns. “why would i joke about something like that?”

 _i don’t know,_ wooyoung thinks, _maybe because he’s just about one of the most published and revered authors in the entire world, and the probability of you having lunch with him just as he happens to fly into korea for a university lecture is less than 0.0001%?_

nichkhun adjusts his tie in the mirror while wooyoung puts away his toothbrush and mug, but then stops mid-action to stare at wooyoung. “you know,” he begins, as if he’s only contemplated the idea for the first time, “you should come along with me.”

“um,” wooyoung says.

“don’t you think it’s a great idea?” nichkhun says, his face lighting up. “i mean, this is an opportunity that’s really hard to come by, and you’re an ardent admirer of his writing anyway!”

“ardent admirer? i mean, uh, i have to go and buy my mum’s birthday present.”

“but your mum’s birthday is next month.”

“yeah, but i bought her a piece of property in busan, and i have to go down to the lawyer’s office to sign the papers in a couple of hours,” wooyoung lies. he pats nichkhun on the shoulder, tells him, “enjoy yourself, don’t mind me,” and flees before he can see nichkhun’s face fall.

 

 

nichkhun returns from his escapade that night with the most cheerful smile pasted on his face, so wooyoung has an excuse for feeling only a tad guilty about making up an absolutely ridiculous story that morning, and continues flipping through the television channels with a large bowl of popcorn nestled in his lap.

it’s not long before nichkhun walks up to him and thrusts a book in his face, completely blocking his view of the television screen.

“here,” nichkhun begins, “i’m sure you’re upset about having not been able to come for lunch with me today, so i got paulo to autograph a copy of one of his novels for you.” 

“oh,” wooyoung says. “wow.” he opens the cover, and there is a large signature splashed over the top of the first page. below that are some words written in a sprawling cursive script. _to wooyoung,_ it says, _sometimes the most important things in life are merely a stone’s throw away._

“do you like it?” nichkhun asks hopefully.

“yeah, thanks,” wooyoung says. “i’m … very touched.”

“that’s great,” nichkhun grins. “read it well. i’m going to bed. goodnight!”

“o-okay,” wooyoung replies, mouth slightly agape, and stares at the book in his hands. he thumbs through the pages a couple of times before turning to take a look at the clock – it’s about five minutes past midnight, and now that wooyoung thinks about it, that’s about three hours ahead of when he usually sleeps anyway. it’d be nice to catch up on all that missed sleep, but experience tells him that he’d end up tossing and turning for at least one hour if he went to bed now. surely a bit of bedtime reading wouldn’t hurt?

 

 

“ _what_ are they doing,” junsu mutters, watching nichkhun flip the page, his brows furrowed.

“trying to establish the first book club in jyp entertainment, obviously,” taecyeon says as wooyoung puts down the book he’s holding and reaches for another.

“today’s their inaugural meeting,” junho adds.

“whatever,” chansung says. “it’s lunchtime, let’s go have some burgers.”


End file.
